AL1CE: The Thirteenth Hour, a Review by Celic John.

AL1CE Thirteenth Hour Logo
 

 Today our resident Celtic Nutjob takes a look at The Thirteenth Hour by AL1CE. Lets see how he find it, if we manage to understand him… -Ed “Ye cannae ken a droop in the mouth. It’s like shaggin’ a golden-retriever: all backwards sky, man.” Truer words have never been spoken. Case in point, last week I was given an album for review. Now I was expecting it to be another lump o’ numptey shite. But instead it’s a right lump of pure dead brilliance. This is AL1CE. This is The Thirteenth Hour. This is fecking awesome! Now the songs on this album -and there are a right bunch o’ them- are well good. There’s a fine combination of rock, pop […]

Read more

“The City Smells Like Cat Spit” by A Place Both Wonderful And Strange

This city smells like cat spit
 

 When it comes to music my tastes are a wee bit different. A wee bit… eclectic. Take in point the album that was placed upon my haggis sandwich this morning, “The City Smells Like Cat Spit.” The album, though short, is packed with a variety of interesting sounds and styles and a whole lot of Alternative madness. I don’t want to go into too many details but the songs are haunting, powerful, danceable, emotional. If you’re into the fecking Goth scene, EBM scene, or fecking plasticine then this is an album you should get; and a band that you should follow. That’s about it. I like this album. It’s odd. It’s different. It’s something unique. I want more from this band. […]

Read more

Solo Review.

Solo
 

 Solo: A Star Wars Story Star Wars is mediocre wank at best. The plots could have been written by children; the characters are pretty much forgettable, and the actors are a bunch of scanners for the most part. Episodes 1 to 3 are loved by right gobdaws and no bugger else. Episodes 4 to 6 are amusing, but not that great, and far too dated. 7 and 8 are bollocks of the biggest type. And then there’s Rogue One and Solo…. I like those films. Do you hear me, you bastards?! I actually like the independent tales. They are well good. (You didn’t see that coming did you? -Ed[Apparently Celtic John thinks he can tell me what to say -Real […]

Read more

Predator, Another Generic Hollywood Remake ?

The Predator

Warning! This article is full of Celtic slang. That’s British and Irish swear words for you, you fecking twally-washers. Also, I’m Celtic-John, and I am here to entertain myself. (And review the new Predator film, or at least try to -Ed) They have gone and done it again. Do you hear me? THEY, the bastards! The bloody brain-dead fud munching bastards in Hollywood have gone and unleashed another massive jobby. A huge jobby. A gigantic jobby that smells like a burning whorehouse at low tide. Yes, that’s right, The Predator is a massive lump of shitte. (I would say that if you’re easily triggered then you should bugger off now. But I am not going to say that. Instead I […]

Read more