DLC: Quality VS Quantity?

 

 Do you remember the 1990’s, and the early 2000’s? I do. I remember the glory days of purchasing video-game expansion packs. The thrill of taking the box off of the shelf; the delight in purchasing it; the anticipation of opening the box; the overwhelming joy as you removed the CD case, manual, and other contents; the joy of installing a proven product that added more to your game. I miss those days. DOWNLOADABLE: Over the past few years the world has become more connected, and marginalized. We no longer have to leave our homes to purchase items. Films, music, games, even food and other services can be easily purchased on the internet. But with all this convenience there comes a […]

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FTL: Faster Than Light.

 

 FASTER: On the 14th of September, 2012, a game was released that brought back a number of great RTS traditions. That game is FTL. FTL is a rogue-like space simulator; in which player takes COMPLETE command/control of a single customizable space vessel – Star Trek/Firefly –  as they attempt to navigate their way back home. Of course they are hounded by enemy forces as they go. “In any given episode of those classic shows, the captain is always yelling “Reroute power to shields!” or giving commands to the engineer now that their Warp Core is on fire. We wanted that experience, as opposed to the “dog fighting in space” that most video-games focus on. We wanted a game where we […]

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HEAVY METAL: FRANCHISE.

 

 “There was no way I was gonna walk around this place with my dork hanging out!” – Den. HEAVY METAL: 36 years on. Have you watched the “Heavy Metal” films, read the magazines, played the game? You haven’t! Well, you must rectify that at once. Since 1 April, 1977, Heavy Metal magazine and all its offspring have been thrilling the world with tales of horror, science-fiction, good old fashioned adventure stories and pictures of semi-naked warrior ladies. Over the course of this – long – article we shall look back over the past 38 years of the Heavy Metal franchise. The reason it is called, Heavy Metal? Well, that’s simple. Heavy Metal music: Black Sabbath, Devo, and Grand Funk Railroad […]

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THE TOP FIVE: WORST VIDEO GAME FILMS 2000 – 2010.

 

 “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.” – Shakespeare. Recently we looked to the 1990’s for video-game films so horrifically produced, that they became glorious masterpieces of trash-cinema. So by now, you would think that after their horrific performances at the box office, the production of such ass-gravy would have been scrapped; replaced with nothing but magnificent odes to amazing games. But you’d be wrong. Since 2000 things have only gotten worse. Now we could be here for quiet some time, filling up volumes with arguments about which film is worse. But the truth is: THERE ARE TOO MANY TO NAME! So instead of arguing, this is what we are going to do. We are going to delve […]

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VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE: BLOODLINES

 

    “Police don’t have any suspects at this time, but they’re pretty sure that it was you.” -TV set. Damned security guard just shot me! Five bullets in the chest! Luckily for me and unluckily for him, a vampire cannot be felled by a few rounds fired from a ‘cap gun’. He seems to be backing away now. I think he has realised his mistake. Shame he is standing in front of the only exit. I suppose I shall have to deal with him… permanently. A myriad of choices present themselves to me. I could rush him, and tear him apart with claw, or axe, or any number of remorseless weapons; though that might be a bit excessive. I could […]

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ZOMBIES: Fact, fiction, or theoretical possibility? PART 1

 

 “[I was taken] to the house, whose inhabitants are deprived of light; to the place where dust is their sustenance, their food clay. They are clothed, like a bird, with feathered raiment.” – Gilgamesh. I had an idea for a nice little article about the undead. But, little did I know, that the sweet and innocent article would quickly turn into a rambling monster of reborn pain and re-purposed flesh. ZOMBIES! Love them or hate them; they are part of our culture; and our Wednesdays. But how long have they been in our culture; and what is our fascination with them? Follow me as we try and get some answers to “ZOMBIES: Fact, fiction, or theoretical possibility? PART 1” “So […]

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AGE OF EMPIRES II: HD VERSION

 

 “Gagnismadr” – Vikings. 14 years ago a game was released that became an instant single and multi-player favourite; that game was Age Of Empires II (AOE 2). In 2000 an expansion pack “The Conquerors” (pre-DLC) was released which added even more to the world we loved. Since then a third installment of the game was released, as well as a turn-based version of AOE 2 for the Nintendo DS, though these failed to live up to its predecessors greatness. Now, after a dozen years, AOE 2 is coming back… remastered, reworked, redone… in all new HD glory. “Bahithaton aan el taam” – Saracens. In 2012, Hidden Path Entertainment (Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, Defense Grid: The Awakening) began work on the remastered […]

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TOP FIVE: WEAPONS

 

 “War is hell.” – William Tecumseh Sherman. Wednesday has arrived once again, and with it comes all the horrors – or joys – of weaponisation. Today we shall have a look at MY favourite video-game weapons. So come and join me on this waddle down memory lane. 5: Gravity Gun: Half Life 2. The Gravity Gun is without a doubt one of the most unique and interesting weapons in gaming history. At first as a “non-traditional” weapon (it has no ammo) it looks a little second rate when compared to other Half-Life weapons. However it soon comes into its own with its two unique combat functions: Primary fire –  emits a blast of energy to push enemies back. And secondary […]

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THE TOP FIVE: WORST VIDEO GAME FILMS OF THE 90’S!

 

 Choices; choices; choices. We love games. We love films. And the creators of both mediums KNOW that we do. So why, do THEY often turn a franchise – that we have adored – into a mess, that has more in common with trouser gravy, than good cinema? Because they can, and we’ll watch it, and they know we’ll pay money. Lots of money. NOW, you may be asking yourself “How bad could it possibly be, Shadow? Sure the films based on video-games are pretty bad now. But where they always bad from day one? Could they have actually created something so fowl, so horrific, so unworthy of the title… that it could offend our Geek sensibilities?” YES! They could; they […]

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EMPIRE/NAPOLEON: TOTAL WAR DARTH MOD!

 

 “Imagination rules the world.” – Napoleon Bonaparte. The rain falls gently onto the small village and surrounding farmland; as my artillery shells the enemies position. Traditionally: I am used to using four divisions of cannon (horse drawn, 6 pounders) as my ‘first punch’ on the battlefield. The opening salvoes are always swiftly followed by four divisions of cavalry (two light, and two heavy) all of which are supported by a swift kick in the groin, given by almost a dozen divisions of infantry (mostly line, with a few support troops.) All these forces usually total around, 2500 men in 20 divisions. But on this day; the situation is different. I have commenced the battle as tradition dictates: with an overwhelming […]

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