AL1CE: The Thirteenth Hour, a Review by Celic John.

AL1CE Thirteenth Hour Logo
 

 Today our resident Celtic Nutjob takes a look at The Thirteenth Hour by AL1CE. Lets see how he find it, if we manage to understand him… -Ed “Ye cannae ken a droop in the mouth. It’s like shaggin’ a golden-retriever: all backwards sky, man.” Truer words have never been spoken. Case in point, last week I was given an album for review. Now I was expecting it to be another lump o’ numptey shite. But instead it’s a right lump of pure dead brilliance. This is AL1CE. This is The Thirteenth Hour. This is fecking awesome! Now the songs on this album -and there are a right bunch o’ them- are well good. There’s a fine combination of rock, pop […]

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“The City Smells Like Cat Spit” by A Place Both Wonderful And Strange

This city smells like cat spit
 

 When it comes to music my tastes are a wee bit different. A wee bit… eclectic. Take in point the album that was placed upon my haggis sandwich this morning, “The City Smells Like Cat Spit.” The album, though short, is packed with a variety of interesting sounds and styles and a whole lot of Alternative madness. I don’t want to go into too many details but the songs are haunting, powerful, danceable, emotional. If you’re into the fecking Goth scene, EBM scene, or fecking plasticine then this is an album you should get; and a band that you should follow. That’s about it. I like this album. It’s odd. It’s different. It’s something unique. I want more from this band. […]

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Solo Review.

Solo
 

 Solo: A Star Wars Story Star Wars is mediocre wank at best. The plots could have been written by children; the characters are pretty much forgettable, and the actors are a bunch of scanners for the most part. Episodes 1 to 3 are loved by right gobdaws and no bugger else. Episodes 4 to 6 are amusing, but not that great, and far too dated. 7 and 8 are bollocks of the biggest type. And then there’s Rogue One and Solo…. I like those films. Do you hear me, you bastards?! I actually like the independent tales. They are well good. (You didn’t see that coming did you? -Ed[Apparently Celtic John thinks he can tell me what to say -Real […]

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Predator, Another Generic Hollywood Remake ?

The Predator

Warning! This article is full of Celtic slang. That’s British and Irish swear words for you, you fecking twally-washers. Also, I’m Celtic-John, and I am here to entertain myself. (And review the new Predator film, or at least try to -Ed) They have gone and done it again. Do you hear me? THEY, the bastards! The bloody brain-dead fud munching bastards in Hollywood have gone and unleashed another massive jobby. A huge jobby. A gigantic jobby that smells like a burning whorehouse at low tide. Yes, that’s right, The Predator is a massive lump of shitte. (I would say that if you’re easily triggered then you should bugger off now. But I am not going to say that. Instead I […]

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Looking Back at Game Dev Tycoon

Game Dev Tycoon
 

 I know I’m late to the party here. But alas I’m a mere mortal and don’t know everything automatically. At least I did recently have the joy of discovering the Gem that is Game Dev Tycoon. Although Tycoon style games aren’t as common nowadays, the genre is a staple of my childhood. and I’m glad to see indie gaming scene bring it back.Game Dev Tycoon is best described as a video-game-publishing-company simulator. In line with this, you start as the sole programmer in your garage in the eighties. From these humble beginnings, you must build up into a publishing powerhouse. As you make progress you can buy an office, hire minions, research projects, and other such activities. all the while constantly […]

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Looking back at the SideWinder Dual Strike

SideWinder Dual Strike
 

 Nowadays any idiot with a gaming computer can just connect up an Xbox controller. And most can even link a Playstation one without too much effort. But back in the day Gamepads for PC weren’t very common. If you were really lucky you could get a nice joystick. Unfortunately those only really worked for vehicle simulation type games. Also being the nineties, FPS games hadn’t yet become popular on consoles due to their lack of a mouse. Clearly, there was a market for an FPS friendly joystick. Enter the Microsoft SideWinder Dual Strike. It was designed like a large gamepad but with a joystick axis in the middle, allowing the right side of the controller to rotate and move the […]

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Happy 13th Birthday VTM: Bloodlines

Bloodlines

Now this isn’t our first time covering that wounderous thing that is Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines. But being its thirteenth birthday I couldn’t resist giving it another round. Quite fitting concidering the game’s own ability to cling to life, seemingly forever. VTM Bloodlines started development in 2001. Eventually releasing in 2004 in a very broken and incomplete state. The small development team at Troika Games simply had a vision infinitely bigger than their resources to realize it. (I love every single one of you for trying though – Ed). As a result, many of the intended functionality, missions, and areas were either watered down or cut. Another issue was the rush to meet a suddenly given deadline left many bugs […]

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Behold The Glory that is Paradigm

Paradigm
 

 Ah good friends welcome back. Fresh from delving into the warped world West of Loathing, I’ve decided to keep riding the weird train into oblivion. Any of you who know me know I love my strange. and not much comes stranger than Paradigm. I’m super late to the party, but the game is the awesome, so lets bring back the hype. I first came across Paradigm early in it’s life (2014) as kickstarter hopeful. So impressed was I that my own wallet did contribute to being the sperm to Kickstarter’s fertile egg of a concept. The loving mother in this increasingly disturbing analogy is one Australian (explains the weird – Ed) Jacob Janerka. Janerka eventually able to quit his job […]

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Forget youre E3s and AAA Hype, West of Loathing is 2017’s best Game

West of Loathing Fight Scene
 

 Where were you when the cows came home ? Hopefully adventuring West of Loathing. Now on the surface West of Loathing appears not much more that a simple browser game. With simple black and white stick figures. But no, you’ve been bamboozled friend ! Beneath the simple surface lies utter brilliance. West of Loathing has been incredibly well written. Humorous, with jokes that contain more layers than an onion farm run by ogres. A sequel to the free browser game Kingdom of Loathing, West of Loathing sets you up with a cliché Wild West Story. Bored out in the farmlands of Kansas, your character heads out west for adventure. It just so happens that adventure is in a world that […]

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There Is No Spoon, The Tick Returns

The Tick
 

 In the glorious words of The Tick; “SPOON !!!!” But not yet… So I know I’m a bit late to the party here, as we are already into the season break of season 1, but I occasionally like to pretend I have a life so deal with it. Anyway where was I, ah yes the new live action adaptation of The Tick. While I haven’t read much of the original comics, I did grow up loving the 90s cartoon. And later the attempt at a live action show staring Patrick Warburton, sadly only lasting one series. This time round it is Amazon Prime tackling the task of bringing the big blue guy to life.  Patrick Warburton, the real life human […]

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