S.T.A.L.K.E.R T.R.I.L.O.G.Y.

 

 S.T.A.L.K.E.R Welcome comrade. Welcome to the end of all things. Welcome to the blasted and mutant infested wasteland we call, THE ZONE. For those of you who do not know, THE ZONE, is the greatest threat to the world that we have ever known. However, there is a lot of money, wealth and power to be gained by those of you who are brave enough to venture into this 30km2 radioactive cesspool. We warned though. There are far more dangerous creatures then simple mutants and bandits out there. SHADOW OF CHERNOBYL: (2007) So for those of you who are not familiar with the S.T.A.L.K.E.R series or the tragic events that occurred at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power-Plant in 1986, I shall […]

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AMERICAN REVOLUTION!

 

 “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.” – Benjamin Franklin. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, Americans. Hope you’re all getting plastered out of your minds. For those of you who are not drunk and want to play some – non-Imperialistic – games; this article is for you! Now, American Revolution games are few and far between, and a little thin on the ground. (No we are not going anywhere near Assassins Creed.) Instead we are going – in the theme of the week – to join the front lines of mass infantry combat, and look at an Empire: Total War mod that pits the Rebels against their Noble masters.  “I have not yet begun to fight.” […]

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EVIL DEAD SERIES (1981-2013)

 

 “You will die! Like the others before you, one by one, we will take you.” – Cheryl: Evil Dead – 1981. I’m certain a number of you have seen the “new” Evil Dead film (2013). I must admit, I enjoyed it; despite the lack of Bruce Campbell. Who is Bruce Campbell? Oh, child. Allow me to enlighten you. And let me be the first to say “Welcome to the World of Evil Dead.” “Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things, right now: Jack and shit… and Jack left town.” – Ash: Army of Darkness – 1992. Our tale is long and sometimes complicated. For over 30 years the world of […]

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FILM VS WRITTEN WORD!

 

 “It ain’t whatcha write, it’s the way atcha write it.” —Jack Kerouac. The written word captures our imagination; while films show the spoils of our mind to the world. Both of these mediums are a fantastic way of expressing ideas and concepts. However the battle-lines between readers and watchers is moving closer, as famous works of literary genius are transformed into fantastic high-budget films; then transformed back into print. So, Wookiee, you get books based on the film, which itself is based on a book. Thus giving you ONE film and TWO distinct books. All of which have their own fanatics lining the streets and flogging themselves in abject worship of “their” beloved personal choice. All this leaves us with […]

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TEN MUSIC VIDEOS: THAT YOU’LL NEVER FORGET!

 

 I thought, let’s do something different this Tuesday. And low and behold we’re doing something different. This week, I’ve decided to dedicate my post to the wonderful world of music videos. Now as you can imagine, this “theme” opens up  a world of dynamic possibilities. Should I focus on horrific videos, or perhaps retro, perhaps Rap or Rock would be better? The options are limitless. So I settled for something a little different. Today we are going to look at TEN music videos (different times, styles, genres,) that once seen shall be burnt into the core fabric of your mind – FOREVER! 10: ZLAD: Supersonic Electronic. ZLAD, born Santo Cilauro, to Italian parents in Australia in, 1961, is a musician, […]

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Frank Klepacki: God of Game-Music!

 

 DragonStrike. (Westwood Studios, 1990.) You’ve been waiting a long time for this article, Wookiee; and finally, your Klepacki dreams are coming true. Well, some of your dreams at any rate. Well, the pleasant ones. The one’s without the greasy, instrument incorporated, Cain fueled (See what I did there?) orgies. “Who is Frank Klepacki?” you ask. (Don’t have a heart attack, Wookiee. Not everyone is as awesome as you. ) For those of you who like music, yet are not familiar with, Mr. Klepacki. You’re in for a treat. Command and Conquer: Red Alert. (Westwood Studios, 1996.) Frank Kelpacki is the composer behind ALL the music employed by the former Westwood Studios (and it’s descendents) in their numerous and fantastic video-games. […]

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BEING A ZOMBIE: PROS AND CONS.

 

 Most of us like zombie films, and zombie games. Hell, many of us have probably read zombie survival guides and dream of putting those skills to use. But what if you are on the other-side? What if you are a zombie? What would be the pros and cons for your new state of un-life?   PROS: 1: You can eat anyone! Whoever they are! Whether they annoyed you at school, or are simply a stranger trying to survive another day. That is of course assuming they are not undead like you. 2: You’ll never have to pay for anything that you might still be paying off. Though you won’t be able to enjoy your purchase. 3: You can feel NO […]

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War For The Overworld.

 

 WAR: This is the year for dreams. Since 1999, I, and many of you, have been patiently waiting for a worthy successor to the legend of gaming, Dungeon Keeper 2.  (That Dungeons business doesn’t count. It was ass gravy of the worst kind!) FOR: In the latter quarter of 1999, Dungeon Keeper 3: War for the Overworld was announced, but soon cancelled in March, 2000. Since then we have waited in antici……..pation for our Dungeon Keeper dreams to come true. Started as part of the Kickstarter campaign, which ran from 29 November, 2012 to 3 January, 2013 (receiving rave reviews, and over R2.5 million in pledges) this upcoming strategy game and SPIRITUAL (that means in is NOT, Dungeon Keeper; but […]

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Worst Last Words… EVER!

 

 Last words; most of us don’t get the chance to say something interesting right before we die. Mostly we hear “Watch out for that bus!” “What bus?” – Splat! However if you are in the lucky minority, what would you choose to say? Hopefully after you have read this article, you’ll have a better idea of what earth-shattering phrase may spew forth from your gaping maw. Millard Fillmore: 1800-1874. Fillmore had an interesting and well remembered career. He worked as a teacher, lawyer, and was the thirteenth president of the United States. (1850-1853) However WE are here for his last words. At a banquet in Buffalo, New York, he suffered a mortal stroke after being served a bowl of chicken […]

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Meme Madness – The origin of memes

 

 I thought that I would do something interesting and fun for this article. As it was a Monday and Memes were preferable I felt that the history of the first Meme would work. Little did I know, like that crying women, or that upset pussy cat, I would be spending most of my day, starring – with a single expression – into the void of digital information, in a vain attempt to round off the infinite, and conclude that “THIS IT THE FIRST MEME… EVER!”. HOWEVER… I soon realized that “One does not simply track down the history of Memes.” (I know. I’m a slut.) After numerous hours of digging through the collective dustbin called, Forum pages. I finally came […]

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