Frank Klepacki: God of Game-Music!

 

 DragonStrike. (Westwood Studios, 1990.) You’ve been waiting a long time for this article, Wookiee; and finally, your Klepacki dreams are coming true. Well, some of your dreams at any rate. Well, the pleasant ones. The one’s without the greasy, instrument incorporated, Cain fueled (See what I did there?) orgies. “Who is Frank Klepacki?” you ask. (Don’t have a heart attack, Wookiee. Not everyone is as awesome as you. ) For those of you who like music, yet are not familiar with, Mr. Klepacki. You’re in for a treat. Command and Conquer: Red Alert. (Westwood Studios, 1996.) Frank Kelpacki is the composer behind ALL the music employed by the former Westwood Studios (and it’s descendents) in their numerous and fantastic video-games. […]

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BEING A ZOMBIE: PROS AND CONS.

 

 Most of us like zombie films, and zombie games. Hell, many of us have probably read zombie survival guides and dream of putting those skills to use. But what if you are on the other-side? What if you are a zombie? What would be the pros and cons for your new state of un-life?   PROS: 1: You can eat anyone! Whoever they are! Whether they annoyed you at school, or are simply a stranger trying to survive another day. That is of course assuming they are not undead like you. 2: You’ll never have to pay for anything that you might still be paying off. Though you won’t be able to enjoy your purchase. 3: You can feel NO […]

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War For The Overworld.

 

 WAR: This is the year for dreams. Since 1999, I, and many of you, have been patiently waiting for a worthy successor to the legend of gaming, Dungeon Keeper 2.  (That Dungeons business doesn’t count. It was ass gravy of the worst kind!) FOR: In the latter quarter of 1999, Dungeon Keeper 3: War for the Overworld was announced, but soon cancelled in March, 2000. Since then we have waited in antici……..pation for our Dungeon Keeper dreams to come true. Started as part of the Kickstarter campaign, which ran from 29 November, 2012 to 3 January, 2013 (receiving rave reviews, and over R2.5 million in pledges) this upcoming strategy game and SPIRITUAL (that means in is NOT, Dungeon Keeper; but […]

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STAR TREK: MONDAY 10

 

 “Yeah, well, I told the Captain I’d have this analysis done in an hour.” – Geordi LaForge. Welcome back. As you can no doubt tell, it’s Monday; and that means Star Trek memes. So let us make it so with the Enterprises SECOND most popular engineer. “We could have been trapped here for hours, days – maybe years.” – Geordi LaForge. Let us have a look at the most popular, LaForge meme, commonly referred to as “Glass Geordi” or various variations thereof. This meme, which has various caption content – ranging from humours to offensive – is the single most popular LaForge meme there is, with dozens of variations available for most online requirements. There’s nothing like “LaForging” someones page. […]

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Worst Last Words… EVER!

 

 Last words; most of us don’t get the chance to say something interesting right before we die. Mostly we hear “Watch out for that bus!” “What bus?” – Splat! However if you are in the lucky minority, what would you choose to say? Hopefully after you have read this article, you’ll have a better idea of what earth-shattering phrase may spew forth from your gaping maw. Millard Fillmore: 1800-1874. Fillmore had an interesting and well remembered career. He worked as a teacher, lawyer, and was the thirteenth president of the United States. (1850-1853) However WE are here for his last words. At a banquet in Buffalo, New York, he suffered a mortal stroke after being served a bowl of chicken […]

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Netiquette for children:

 

 A few months ago we looked into the growing world of Netiquette, and as an adult I found the information relatively useful. However it has come to my attention that some of you have children – I don’t – and these… children are now getting into the wonderful world of online living. Now, although this is a wonderful and magical time in their lives, many of them are apparently getting themselves into all sorts of trouble. I would say, “Step up and do some damn parenting!” but I’m not going to. Instead I’m going to help you out by giving you some hints, tips, tactics, and things to research regarding all things Netiquette. 7 TIPS: Use smileys and forms of […]

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10 PECULIAR WEAPONS:

 

 The history of gaming is the history of war. A large portion of the games we play revolve around using weapons to kill opponents. And over the past few years we’ve been given some amazing, and mental tools (BFG, Gauss-Rifles, Nukes, Battle-Bears, Kirov Airships, bananas) to accomplish that end. However, any student of military history will tell you (I’M TELLING YOU!) there have been far more peculiar weapons in OUR reality, than anything produced by gaming or cinema culture. “I love the smell of Napalm in the morning” – Apocalypse Now.          10: ANTI-TANK  DOGS. With the German invasion of 1941, Russia became the playground for new and interesting weapons. One such weapon was to attach explosives to dogs, […]

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Watch Dogs

 

 I had a dream. A dream that one day, in the future, someone would invent a free-roaming, open world video-game. A world in which you were only limited by your mind, not by the confines of the map. A world in which all (most) doors opened for you. A world in which you could speak to anyone and do almost anything. A world of limitless possibilities. Guess what? UBISOFT Montreal (Assassins Creed, Prince of Persia) have created that dream. And it’s name is Watch Dogs. THE STORY SO FAR: Watch Dogs revolves around a highly skilled “hacker/parkour expert” named, Aiden Pearce (Naom Jenkins – Saw II and Saw IV.)(Yes, you read correctly, Parkour. That’s the lads who run around the […]

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STAR TREK: MONDAY 9

 

 “The unexpected is our normal routine.” – Riker. And so we have arrived at Monday. Once again we delve into all things Star Trek. Once again we assault the planet of memes. Once again we have a laugh. “When has justice ever been as simple as a rule book?” – Riker.  The “Captain Picard and Commander Riker Facepalm” meme is the first meme on our list. This meme is known worldwide, and is notoriously deployed on Facebook and the like. The “Picard Faceplam” which we looked at nine weeks ago is one of the best and most widely used memes. But when things are just too pathetic, you need to double up on the faceplaming (If that’s even a word.) […]

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Meme Madness – The origin of memes

 

 I thought that I would do something interesting and fun for this article. As it was a Monday and Memes were preferable I felt that the history of the first Meme would work. Little did I know, like that crying women, or that upset pussy cat, I would be spending most of my day, starring – with a single expression – into the void of digital information, in a vain attempt to round off the infinite, and conclude that “THIS IT THE FIRST MEME… EVER!”. HOWEVER… I soon realized that “One does not simply track down the history of Memes.” (I know. I’m a slut.) After numerous hours of digging through the collective dustbin called, Forum pages. I finally came […]

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