VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE: BLOODLINES

 

    “Police don’t have any suspects at this time, but they’re pretty sure that it was you.” -TV set. Damned security guard just shot me! Five bullets in the chest! Luckily for me and unluckily for him, a vampire cannot be felled by a few rounds fired from a ‘cap gun’. He seems to be backing away now. I think he has realised his mistake. Shame he is standing in front of the only exit. I suppose I shall have to deal with him… permanently. A myriad of choices present themselves to me. I could rush him, and tear him apart with claw, or axe, or any number of remorseless weapons; though that might be a bit excessive. I could […]

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ZOMBIES: Fact, fiction, or theoretical possibility? PART 1

 

 “[I was taken] to the house, whose inhabitants are deprived of light; to the place where dust is their sustenance, their food clay. They are clothed, like a bird, with feathered raiment.” – Gilgamesh. I had an idea for a nice little article about the undead. But, little did I know, that the sweet and innocent article would quickly turn into a rambling monster of reborn pain and re-purposed flesh. ZOMBIES! Love them or hate them; they are part of our culture; and our Wednesdays. But how long have they been in our culture; and what is our fascination with them? Follow me as we try and get some answers to “ZOMBIES: Fact, fiction, or theoretical possibility? PART 1” “So […]

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AGE OF EMPIRES II: HD VERSION

 

 “Gagnismadr” – Vikings. 14 years ago a game was released that became an instant single and multi-player favourite; that game was Age Of Empires II (AOE 2). In 2000 an expansion pack “The Conquerors” (pre-DLC) was released which added even more to the world we loved. Since then a third installment of the game was released, as well as a turn-based version of AOE 2 for the Nintendo DS, though these failed to live up to its predecessors greatness. Now, after a dozen years, AOE 2 is coming back… remastered, reworked, redone… in all new HD glory. “Bahithaton aan el taam” – Saracens. In 2012, Hidden Path Entertainment (Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, Defense Grid: The Awakening) began work on the remastered […]

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STAR TREK: MONDAY 4

 

 “There’s an old saying, Fortune favors the bold. Well, I guess we’re about to find out.” – Captain Sisko. It’s Monday and that means Star Trek! Once again we begin our week with captain memes. And – for those who have been paying attention – this week we delve into the world of Star Treks only stationary captain: Benjamin Sisko. (And before you start writing me hate mail; YES! I know Sisko used to be a commander in the first few seasons. But he eventually became a Captain. And that’s what counts.) “Captain’s personal log, stardate five one seven… thr-, uh… Five one seven… four – Computer, what day is it?” – Captain Sisko. SERIOUS SISKO: Now when it comes […]

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STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS

 

 “Dammit, man! I’m a doctor, not a physicist!” – Bones McCoy. In 2009 a new Star Trek film was released. (I’m sure you saw it.) Fans of the original Star Trek were instantly torn between loyalty for their original family or for the new guys. And I must say the new guys were a sight to behold. Since then we have been waiting for the next film in this re-imagined franchise to be released, and this year (2013) our wait will be over. “I like this ship! You know, it’s exciting!” – Scotty. Since the announcement of the next film, the internet has become a breeding ground for rumours, half-baked ideas, conspiracies and a never ending multi-sided argument regarding the […]

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STAR TREK: MONDAY 3

 

 “The dead girl? Oh yes, very charming. I can see the family resemblance.” – Captain Janeway. As you have probably guessed, it’s Monday and that means MEME time. And continuing with our theme of Star Trek Mondays we’re going to delve into the wonderful world of Captain Janeway – the only female captain of the Star Trek franchise. And the only captain to end up on the other side of the galaxy for a chunk of their career. “Eat doggie dooby!” – Captain Janeway. JANEWAY FACEPALM: Now as the more perceptive of you have probably realised there are a lot of “facepalm” memes on the internet. However, when it comes to memes of Captain Janeway the pre/post faceplam memes carry […]

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TOP FIVE: WEAPONS

 

 “War is hell.” – William Tecumseh Sherman. Wednesday has arrived once again, and with it comes all the horrors – or joys – of weaponisation. Today we shall have a look at MY favourite video-game weapons. So come and join me on this waddle down memory lane. 5: Gravity Gun: Half Life 2. The Gravity Gun is without a doubt one of the most unique and interesting weapons in gaming history. At first as a “non-traditional” weapon (it has no ammo) it looks a little second rate when compared to other Half-Life weapons. However it soon comes into its own with its two unique combat functions: Primary fire –  emits a blast of energy to push enemies back. And secondary […]

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THE TOP FIVE: WORST VIDEO GAME FILMS OF THE 90’S!

 

 Choices; choices; choices. We love games. We love films. And the creators of both mediums KNOW that we do. So why, do THEY often turn a franchise – that we have adored – into a mess, that has more in common with trouser gravy, than good cinema? Because they can, and we’ll watch it, and they know we’ll pay money. Lots of money. NOW, you may be asking yourself “How bad could it possibly be, Shadow? Sure the films based on video-games are pretty bad now. But where they always bad from day one? Could they have actually created something so fowl, so horrific, so unworthy of the title… that it could offend our Geek sensibilities?” YES! They could; they […]

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STAR TREK: MONDAY 2

 

 “All your people must learn before you can reach for the stars.” -Kirk. Well it’s another Monday, and if you have been paying attention over the past week, you will KNOW that I’m dedicating Mondays to all things Star Trek. Or at least all memes Star Trek. Last week we looked into the SEVEN classic, Captain Jean-Luc Picard memes. This week, we look at the memes of Captain James T. Kirk. (You may now get your fan-boy freak on.)   “A little suffering is good for the soul.” – Kirk. ANGRY KIRK: Now as Captain Kirk memes go – there are a lot of them – this is one of the defining ones. In this classic de-motivational (most Kirk memes […]

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EMPIRE/NAPOLEON: TOTAL WAR DARTH MOD!

 

 “Imagination rules the world.” – Napoleon Bonaparte. The rain falls gently onto the small village and surrounding farmland; as my artillery shells the enemies position. Traditionally: I am used to using four divisions of cannon (horse drawn, 6 pounders) as my ‘first punch’ on the battlefield. The opening salvoes are always swiftly followed by four divisions of cavalry (two light, and two heavy) all of which are supported by a swift kick in the groin, given by almost a dozen divisions of infantry (mostly line, with a few support troops.) All these forces usually total around, 2500 men in 20 divisions. But on this day; the situation is different. I have commenced the battle as tradition dictates: with an overwhelming […]

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